Dear Management,

As always, I would like to thank you for your continuing contributions to this site, lackluster though they are. I am certain that it takes a great deal of time and consideration to send me constant emails regarding the complete failure of this site and how you are certain that more reviews, previews, and listicles would be more lucrative content Doc Palindrome. I would hate to take time away from your immensely busy schedules.

I would also like to make a brief statement about your comments against Jordan, a valuable member of this team and an excellent contributor. While it is true that I opted to have him use a pseudonym upon initially adding his column, this was never done to deceive the public, but rather to protect his anonymity. I have, in the time since, secured permission from both of his parents to utilize his actual name as was awaiting the correct time to do so. Since you have forced my hand, I guess now works.

From this point forward, Jordan Spencer will be publishing under his own name.

That sentence feels good to write.

In the case of the comments from Jordan to Bob, I did not see a level of offensiveness to any degree.  In point of fact, Jordan specifically said that Bob was entitled to his opinion, as are we all. That is the tenet of this site and that was why I took the chance to begin building it, in the first place. In point of fact, the ability to enable talented writers to communicate their unique opinions is why I was willing to embrace the necessary evil of allying with you, in the first place.

With regards to your fine, I suggest you read over my contract, once more. Perhaps, in the future, you guys can take a couple pages each and read through them to make sure you don’t say anything stupid on a public forum.

Like a website.

With Warmest Regards,

Jesse